Back to the Future

As a kid, I was always infatuated with a particular scene in Back to the Future Part II. One of the characters (I'm pretty sure it was Biff) went into the future, got an encyclopedia full of sports results, and then when he went back in time started wagering huge amounts of money on surefire gambles. As a unashamed capitalist, I thought this was the coolest thing that could ever happen. If only I could know with 100% certainty that I would achieve a certain result, I would be a much happier (and much richer person). Or would I?

This brings me back to the breakup/loneliness/general despair rules

Rule Number 4: If you've done it before and it didn't work, it's not going to work this time around.

The thing about predicting the future is that, most of the time, we can already do it. Most of the situations that I face on a day to day basis are relatively simple. Most of the situations I've faced regarding relationships are even simpler. We have enormous levels of social context about what should and should not be acceptable in romantic relationships. Whether we learned it from One Tree Hill or Seinfeld or Boy Meets World doesn't matter, what matters is that essentially from the time we realize that we have pleasure organs...erm...reproduction organs...anyway, from the time we realized that, all we've really talked about is how we interact with the opposite sex. Between this and the abundance of television shows that literally are designed for the sole purpose of forcing viewers to sit down and harangue others for their poor relationship decisions (I'm looking at you MTV), the book is pretty much written on how to deal with relationships by now. So why, with this immense relational vocabulary, do so many people act as if they are illiterate?

I think my personal hindrance is that I'd rather take sure consequences that I know I can handle rather than uncertain consequences that may or may not be worse. And this is where the Todd comes in. As a huge Scrubs fan, I've wondered why the Todd continues with his sexual innuendo despite the fact that he knows it will always end with him getting slapped, threatened, etc. But here's the key - that's the worst that ever happens. I'd argue that the Todd continues in his devious ways because he knows that he can handle those consequences, but what he can't handle is forcing himself to change his personality, perhaps opening himself up to rejection. He'd rather be the hilarious, piggish Todd that everyone knows than try to be sensitive Todd, or angry Todd, or even sexually active Todd. At times, we are all Todds. At least in my experience, this very human issue rears its ugly head most often when you are alone with your own thoughts. At least in my experience with breakups (and I'm not even just referring to mine at this point), the person who has been broken up with always has an intense desire to pick up the phone and continue trying to contact the person who dumped him or her. It's pretty simple...nothing that he or she will say will make you happy. And you know this. Yet you still call. Because you are the Todd. You aren't even listening to what I'm saying right now are you? STOP DIALING DAMMIT.

Alright, so maybe that was an exaggeration, but I do believe that people continue to make the same mistakes because they can mitigate the consequences, rather than risking something better (or worse, but usually better). Most people are like mice running through mazes. They'd rather live in the half-misery of making the choice that feels right but doesn't lead to the cheese than actually ignore their instincts and go for something better. As I mentioned in my last post, this is essentially my journey towards edifying myself personally in the places where I would usually make the same mistakes. While I would love to be able to go into the future, find out when the A's win the World Series (please, let it be 2011) and come back and bet my life savings on it, I can't. Looking backwards, though, I think I know enough about where I've been to know what to avoid.